Redemption (Tattoos & Tears - Brody Book 1) Read online

  "You good, dude? Was the fuck was that all about?" Sam asks, with concern in his voice.

  I shake my head and I've literally lost the ability to speak. I can't fucking put into words what I'm feeling right now.

  "Mate, talk to me," he prompts, and I can tell when the penny finally drops. "Is that-is she...?"

  He doesn't have to continue as I nod.

  "What the fuck is she doing here, Sam?" I manage to string a sentence together, without sounding like a total idiot. "I...I can't fucking do this, I can't. Just when I was beginning to get over her, it shouldn't matter, I'm with Rae now, but she's..."

  I stop myself from saying more and start to pace up and down the narrow corridor.

  "I literally have no words, mate."

  You and me both, dude.

  ***

  After a few words of reassurance from Sam, I finally pluck up the courage to go back into the dressing room to face her. My kryptonite, my drug of choice, Lorna Lavelle. She’s touching up Jax’s cheeks with some girlie make-up shit when I enter the room.

  “You’ve got really great cheekbones,” she says brightly, and Jax chuckles as she sweeps the make-up brush across his cheek.

  “Thanks, sweetheart, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

  She chuckles and I noisily close the door. As she looks up, her gaze finds mine. She clears her throat and stands with one hand on her hip.

  “Right, who’s next?”

  Lucas briefly looks up from his photography magazine.

  “Go for it, honey,” he says nonchalantly, and she gestures to the seat next to her.

  I sit down and avert my eyes briefly to the floor. I can’t let her see she’s getting to me.

  “Jax, Luke, M.J needs a word.” Sam announces as Jax looks from me to Lorna questioningly and I look away guiltily. Why the fuck should I be feeling guilty? I’ve done nothing wrong.

  “What about Brody?” Jax asks curiously and looks from me to Sam.

  I shift my gaze elsewhere and Sam slowly shakes his head. “He’s not needed, it’s nothing major.”

  Sam cocks his pierced eyebrow and they wordlessly follow him out.

  “Was that for my benefit?” she asks softly, and I shrug.

  “For your benefit, as in, do they know that we’ve been shagging for four years? Sam’s the only one, so don’t worry, I’m still your dirty little fucking secret, L,” I spit angrily, and she lets out a sigh.

  “It doesn’t have to be this way between us, Brody.”

  I laugh bitterly.

  “It can’t be any other way because you’ll always choose him over me. I thought I was over you, things between Raleigh and me have been really great, after the last time I saw you. I promised myself I’d at least try with her, and I have. I’ve tried so fucking hard to forget you existed, but here you are, looking gorgeous as ever and now I’m starting to question everything I feel for her again, why are you even here?”

  The annoyed tone in my voice is apparent, as she rolls her eyes dramatically.

  “Really? You’re going to sit there and blame me because you can’t fucking move on? I’m here because this is my bloody job! Against my better judgement, I’d already agreed to stand in for Michelle, then they mentioned Rancid Vengeance. I knew I’d made a mistake, but by then, it was too late to back out.”

  I catch her eye in the mirror and her eyes tell me all I need to know.

  “I’ll never be over you, Lorna. You’re my biggest regret and I’m so fucking sorry I wasn’t good enough.”

  I don’t miss the lone tear that runs down her cheek and my heart breaks a little more. I get up from my seat, brushing her hand tenderly, as I turn to leave the room.

  21

  Brody

  We’re all sitting on the sofa of popular U.K morning talk show, Live @ Breakfast. Live @ Breakfast is fronted by Shep Goldstein, a tall, lean, middle-aged, outspoken, ex-radio DJ turned chat show host, with sandy brown hair and steel-blue eyes. His partner in crime is Lena Prince, a ruthless, ex-newspaper journalist, she has curves in all the right places, with fiery red hair. She wears purple rimmed glasses, which complement the colour of her eyes. They sit on a long, garish, lime green sofa, smiling almost falsely at the numerous cameras around the studio.

  We’ve been on so many TV interviews over the years, I’ve lost count and they all blur into one. I hate them with a passion, I hate being told when to smile, what to say and what not to say and how to act. I hate being probed for answers to questions we don’t want to fucking answer. I hate the falseness of it all and I can’t stand the early mornings. Especially when we’ve had after show parties the night before and we’ve been hungover to shit.

  We’re sitting casually on the sofa, as Shep introduces us with an almost too bright smile.

  “Now, these guys have been in the music industry for almost fourteen years and their highly anticipated fifteenth studio album “All Hail Vengeance” is due to be released this coming week. Famous for their guitar-driven, all-out, throw-your-hands-in-the-air, rock anthems, we are incredibly pleased to give a warm welcome back into the studio, Rancid Vengeance.”

  We all nod our greetings and I briefly glance at M.J at the side of the studio, as he gives us a thumbs up and a wink of encouragement.

  “Welcome, guys, it’s so good to have you back in the studio with us at long last!” Shep says over-enthusiastically and Sam nods coolly.

  We’re always happy to let Sam take the lead in interviews, he’s become an expert over the years.

  “It’s good to be back, Shep, it’s been a while. Thank you so much for having us,” he rasps and smiles, which brings out his infamous dimples.

  Charming fucker.

  “It’s our pleasure, so, tell us, what have you guys been up to since we last saw you?”

  Sam looks briefly to Jax and Jax leans forward confidently.

  “Well, we’ve been on a nationwide, UK tour, we’ve visited so many places up and down the country. We’ve had such an insane response from the fans, and it’s humbles us each and every time we go out on stage. The amount of fans that turn out for us and the support we receive is absolutely phenomenal,” Jax says modestly as he looks back to Sam to continue.

  Sam spreads his arms across the back of the sofa and sits up straighter before he answers.

  “We love performing, it’s what we live for and that’s why we do it. We’ve been doing a lot of promoting; radio interviews, TV and magazine interviews and we’ve unveiled our brand-new website. Our back catalogue has just been released on all major streaming services for the very first time since we parted ways with Diamond Records and launched our own record label.”

  Shep and Lena listen intently, as Sam continues.

  “We’re extremely lucky to have that longevity in the music industry and we owe it to the fans to keep releasing music and to keep touring. We’re going on a European tour and then we’re touring the U.S and Australia very soon! So keep your eyes peeled for that!”

  Lena pushes her glasses up her nose and she’s practically creaming her knickers over Sam. I literally want to poke my eyes out with fucking forks. She straightens, before she turns her body towards him, giving him an eyeful of her boobs and asks. Luckily, Sam’s professional enough to ignore it and only has eyes for his wife these days. I on the other hand, can’t help but get distracted by her perky breasts, which are in full view of my eyeline. Fucking hell, FOCUS! It’s way too early in the morning for this shit!

  “Your career spans almost two decades, that’s amazing for a band in your particular genre! I take my hat off to you! So, All Hail Vengeance is your fifteenth studio album. In your long career history, what would you say is your most poignant album you've released so far?" Lena says, and as she says those words, Sam's expression changes.

  I can see the mixture of emotions flowing through him. Fuck my life. He looks desperately to me for support, and I clear my throat, before answering the question. Come on, Hart, take one for the fucking team.


  "I think it's different for all of us, all of our albums are poignant in some way or another. They represent different stages of our lives, ya know? But I think we all agree that ‘Vengeance Resurrected’ was a significant one, we experimented with a brand-new sound, worked with different producers and it drummed up all kinds of emotions. It signified loss, grief and it dealt with some dark subject matter, because that’s where we were in our lives, at the time. I think as a band, as a family, it made us stronger. It connected us with the music. It made it fresh again and I hope it did that for the fans too. Well, it was number one in sixty-five different countries, so I think the fans definitely agreed, Lena!" I joke, and Lena laughs a little over-enthusiastically.

  "I agree, it was poignant, and it was such a beautiful album, I have to admit there were some songs on there that made me cry, ‘Through the Storm’ in particular. What was the inspiration behind that song?”

  Sam is literally vibrating with rage next to me and I know I need to take charge of the situation, without coming across as rude.

  “It was a mixture of things and events that inspired us, as you all know. It was well-documented that we went through a particularly rough time, but we supported each other through it and what better way to put that across than through music.”

  I smile almost falsely. I glance over at M.J, who has his head in his hands at the side of the studio.

  “Now, you guys are going to be performing a new song from your new album, at the end of the show, which we can’t wait for. What can we expect from your new album, boys?” Shep asks a little over zealously.

  “It’s a typical Rancid Vengeance album, full of play-it-loud, sing your heart out anthems. We’ve got a few love songs thrown in for good measure and obviously our famous guitar driven rock songs, which the fans all know us for and seem to love! They all keep buying our records, so we must be doing something right! Again, we’ve worked with some new producers and Sam’s been writing with Jett Powers from Skarlett Ribbon, who have just signed with our label. So, there’s a few surprises in there too!”

  I tease, with a cheeky wink. Fuck me, I should do this for a living!

  “That’s all we’ve got time for I’m afraid! We could chat all day! Stay tuned to see Rancid Vengeance perform a song from their brand-new album ‘All Hail Vengeance’, which is released next week! Thank you so much for coming, boys!” Lena gushes, and we all nod coolly.

  “Thanks for having us!” Jax adds, as we wait for our cue to leave and the cameras to stop rolling.

  We all simultaneously get up from the sofa, as Sam storms backstage and stops in front of M.J.

  "What the fuck was that M.J? Why was she asking those questions? You gave them a list of subjects that were off limits, why would she do that deliberately?" Sam barks, jabbing his finger in M.J’s general direction.

  I squeeze his shoulder in a gesture of reassurance. He shrugs me off and stalks closer to M.J.

  “Sam, look, buddy, you need to calm down,” M.J says calmly.

  Jesus, this bloke is so chilled he should be horizontal.

  “No, I won’t fucking calm down, M.J! She fucking humiliated us in front of millions of viewers! What was she playing at! You don’t understand what it’s like for us to relive that time. I don’t expect you to get it because you weren’t fucking there! It damaged us, and that damage is irreparable!” Sam roars as M.J tries desperately to placate him.

  Trying to placate Sam right now is like trying to tame an angry fucking lion. I don’t hear the rest of his tirade, as Lorna approaches me. Jesus Christ, she looks especially gorgeous today. She’s wearing a long black skirt, a yellow top with a bee on the front, which hangs loosely off her shoulder and finishes off her outfit with white Converse trainers. Her red hair is loose and hanging down her shoulders in loose, curly waves and I can’t seem to tear my greedy eyes away from her.

  “Brody, can I talk to you for a second?” she asks softly in her familiar Northern brogue and I’m a goner.

  I swallow hard and nod in agreement.

  “Yeah, sure,” I say coolly, feeling anything but cool.

  I’m all sorts of nervous and on edge, this is where a nice line of coke would come in handy. I push that thought to the back of my mind and follow her apprehensively down the corridor. She opens a dressing room door, checking if it’s empty before beckoning me to come in. I follow her in, and she shuts the door behind us. As the door shuts, she’s on me, she pushes me against the door and crashes her lips urgently to mine, frantically clawing and grabbing at my belt.

  “I’m done staying away from you, Brody, I can’t do it anymore. I want you,” she declares breathlessly.

  “I’ve wanted to hear those words for so long, L,” I say sincerely.

  She manages to unbuckle my belt and unzips my combat trousers, reaching in to grab my erection. I gasp out loud, as her hand makes contact with my cock.

  “I want you to fuck me, Brody, like you used to.”

  The selfish part of me wants to push her away and tell her I’m with Raleigh, but the words get stuck in my throat. I haven’t got the strength to stop her, I haven’t got the resolve to say no to her, she’s my fucking weakness. I reach under her skirt to find she’s not wearing any underwear. I skate my hand across her bare pussy and she moans softly in my ear.

  “Oh God, Brody!”

  I swipe my finger through her slickness and stroke her engorged nub. I slide my finger inside her with ease and start to finger fuck her.

  “God, you’re so fucking wet for me, Lorna,” I whisper.

  She mewls in my ear, while she’s stroking my cock. ,“You don’t know how long I’ve waited for you to fuck me again,” she admits, almost desperately.

  I lean down to pepper her neck with soft, gentle kisses, as I continue to move my finger in and out of her wet heat. I introduce a second finger and push my fingers deeper, my thumb circling her hot button. She pants in my ear, digging her nails into the back of my neck.

  “Come all over my fingers, I want you to come hard for me, Lorna.”

  My words are her undoing, and she screams, as my calloused fingers bring her to the most delicious orgasm.

  “Oh God, oh fuck, oh fuck, yes! Yes! Brody! Oh God! Brody!”

  She writhes and I squeeze every last ounce of pleasure from her. As I pull my fingers from her, her legs buckle, and she goes lax against me. I lift her up easily, spinning us around so she’s pinned to the door. I lift her skirt further up and take my bare cock out of the confines of my boxers. The head of my cock finds her entrance and I shove her up the door, impaling her on my waiting firmness. My cock feels so good inside her. Fuck me, I’ve missed this, I’ve missed her. She whimpers softly, as I allow her to readjust to my length after all this time. I bite my lip and throw my head back, as I cry out with pleasure.

  "Oh Jesus, fuck, you feel like heaven. Shit, I’ve missed you."

  I pick up the pace, moving in and out of her slick heat, causing the door to bang with the force of our love making. She wraps her arms around me, and she strokes the nape of my neck. It feels so fucking good, almost too good. She moans in my ear, as my pace quickens, I feel my orgasm cresting to the surface.

  "Shit, FUCK!" I bark, as I piston in and out of her.

  We both explode and find our releases at the same time.

  "I'm coming, fuck, Brody, I'm coming," she yells, and I move my other hand over her mouth.

  I feel my hot seed spurt inside her and she cries out around my hand. As we come down from our synchronised orgasms, the room falls eerily silent. I pull out of her and we both begin to wordlessly straighten ourselves out. Her hair is wild and mussed, screaming out that she’s been freshly fucked. I smirk at the thought, as I gently stroke her face.

  “Fuck, you look so beautiful right now,” I compliment, and she rewards me with the smile that she knows brings me to my fucking knees.

  “God, Brody, that shouldn’t have happened, I’m sorry, I really don’t know what came over me,” she says regretf
ully, bringing me back to earth with a sharp jolt.

  What the actual fuck?

  “How can you fucking say that? Didn’t you feel what I felt, Lorna? We just fucked bareback! You’re the only woman I’ve ever been bareback with! Surely that must mean something to you? Please tell me it wasn’t just me?” I plead, and she shakes her head, determination plastered all over her beautiful fucking face.

  “We just needed to fuck each other out of our systems, that’s all.”

  I can’t believe the words that are coming out of her mouth. How could she fucking say that?

  “I could fucking crush you, Lorna. Just like you’ve just fucking crushed me! I could destroy you, your marriage and your perfect fucking life!”