Redemption (Tattoos & Tears - Brody Book 1) Read online

  I lean heavily back in my seat and Peyton reaches for my hand, brushing it reassuringly.

  “Really, don’t let it get to you, honey. When Sam and me first got together, it was hell, they scrutinized every little thing. They dug up random shit from years ago, that wasn’t even relevant,” she says with an annoyed tone, and I shake my head.

  “It’s not that, I got used to it when Carter and me first met. It sort of goes with the territory being in the public eye, but I thought we’d have more time to keep us secret, before the media circus got involved, that’s all.”

  She smiles sympathetically.

  “I know the feeling, babe.”

  I am about to speak again when my phone starts ringing. I see Damien’s name flash up and I swipe the screen to answer.

  “Hi, Damien,” I answer brightly as he clears his throat before he speaks.

  “Hello Raleigh, how’s it going?”

  Peyton gets up and leaves, to give me some privacy.

  “Yeah, it’s going really great, thanks. I’ve learned so much, it’s been such an adventure. I’m looking forward to the start of filming,” I say enthusiastically.

  “Good, good. So, is there something you need to tell me, Raleigh?”

  My heart sinks and my good mood plummets, as the tone of his voice changes. I should have known as soon as I saw his name flash up on my phone that this was the reason for his call.

  “I'm not saying this to be a bastard, I'm saying it, because it needs to be said. You need to stay away from Brody Hart. He's self-destructive, selfish and he doesn't care who he hurts. Don't get me wrong, I like him, he's a good guy, but walk away, while you still can. I'm saying this as a friend and an employer, he's bad news for your career, Raleigh. He's a hurricane, a disaster looking for a place to happen. I know you're an adult, but I can see you're fragile, you're vulnerable and he might not mean to, but Brody will take advantage of that. I don't want that to happen, especially not when you're building yourself and your career back up. You’re so talented, I’d hate to see that exceptional talent go to waste. He's a genuine guy, but he's impulsive and he's unpredictable. It might seem exhilarating and exciting, but he'll take and take, until there's nothing left. I care about you, Raleigh, as an actress and as a friend. It’s good publicity, don’t get me wrong, but I want the focus to be on the movie and not some are-they-or-aren’t-they romance. I’m not saying you shouldn’t date, not at all, I haven’t got the right. I’m giving you my professional opinion, some friendly advice if you will. Maybe try and keep it under wraps, at least until the movie’s complete.”

  I am struck dumb at Damien’s words and I can’t believe what I’m hearing. How fucking dare he try and dictate who I can and can’t date.

  “Don’t let me down, Raleigh,” he says abruptly and hangs up without saying goodbye.

  He doesn’t even give me the opportunity to defend myself. Prick. I now understand what Damien said at our initial meeting, his bark is definitely worse than his bite. For fucks sake.

  17

  Brody

  I’m about to say goodbye to Raleigh and for the past few hours’, she’s been oddly quiet. She’s never quiet, and it’s unnerving me. Her idle chatter grounds me in some way. I don’t know how to get through to her. We’ve just had incredible, mind blowing sex, and she’s lying on my chest idly making shapes with her fingers on my pecs. She’s got something on her mind, I can tell by the way she’s avoiding eye contact and her overall demeanour.

  “Hey, talk to me, kitten,” I ask softly, and she shuts down on me.

  Fucking women. I lift her gently, get up and I start to get dressed, tugging on my jeans, visibly annoyed. I zip up my zipper and raise my hands in the air.

  “What do you want from me, Raleigh? Tell me because I’m fucking confused!” I snap, and she sits up, the sheet pooling at her waist, giving me a full view of her pert breasts. “Put some fucking clothes on, you’re distracting me,” I say exasperated as I pick up her t-shirt and launch it at her.

  She pulls the sheet up to cover herself, deliberately avoiding my stare.

  “I don’t know what you want me to say, Brody” she says softly as I pull on my t-shirt and zip up my jeans.

  “Then don’t say anything, just listen to me.”

  She looks at me and the look in her eyes almost breaks my heart.

  “You want to know something, Raleigh? You’re so fucking perfect and it scares the shit out of me. How can someone be that perfect and still want me? I don't deserve you.”

  A lone tear slips down her cheek and I wipe it away with the pad of my thumb.

  "You’re so fucking different from any of the other women I've been with; they're so caught up in the money and the fame, that they don't see me, you see me, you actually care. You don’t just listen to me, you hear me. You’re smart, you’re brave and so fucking beautiful."

  I move closer to her and stroke her face.

  “Stop, please stop.”

  She shakes her head and I start to pace the floor.

  “Before you came along, I thought I was beyond saving, Raleigh. You give me hope that I could finally be happy.”

  She swipes away her tears with the back of her hand.

  “You don’t need me, Brody, the world doesn’t need me,” she says with such self-loathing in her voice, and it makes me angry.

  How could she think that? I perch myself on the edge of the bed and cup her face in my hands.

  “Don't you dare think this world doesn't need you, Raleigh. The world may still see the sun rise and set, but my world would fucking end, if you weren’t in it.”

  My words only cause her to sob harder and that right there, is the reason why I can’t admit aloud how I feel about her. Fuck my life.

  Raleigh

  Brody is such a complex, complicated, damaged human being, but he is mine. I belong to him and he belongs to me, in every way possible. He runs his hands over his head, as if he’s waging an internal war with himself. He gets up, putting some distance between us and I sense the moment his mood switches and the shutters come down.

  “You know what, actually I take that back. Maybe I am beyond saving, Raleigh. What did you think was going to happen? That you'd show up, and you'd be the girl to tame me? I'm fucking damaged! I've seen things, I've done things, I'm not proud of."

  The haunted look in his eyes, all but destroys me and I want to cry for him. I want to cry for the innocent, damaged little boy he was, and I want to cry for the beautifully ruined adult he's become. I reach out to stroke his face and he backs away from my touch, as if it repulses him.

  "Don't fucking touch me," he whispers as I try to hide the bitter sting of rejection by tucking my hair behind my ear. "You need to go, as far away as you can get away from me, I'm not a good person, I'm not someone who can give you the happy ever after you fucking deserve. In another life, I could love you, Raleigh. Just not this one, I'm sorry."

  I angrily swipe away the stray tears that have escaped and mentally curse myself to hell for giving in to my stupid fucking emotions.

  "Don't you get it? I'm damaged too! We're both damaged and yet it doesn't stop me loving you! You fucking selfish prick!" I spit, and he looks taken aback by my statement.

  It takes me a few seconds for my brain to catch up with itself and the words that I practically vomited. I just told Brody Hart I'm in love with him. Fuck it all to hell.

  Brody

  Raleigh Storm just told me she loves me. She's in love with me. Fuck my life. This isn't happening, this is not fucking happening.

  "Say something."

  Her voice comes out small and weak. The look in her eyes makes my chest ache, but this categorically can't fucking happen. I thought I could, but I'll destroy her, this beautiful, amazing woman, so full of life. I'll turn her into a shell of herself if she gives me the chance and I can't do it. I won't let that happen. I shake my head and steel myself to look her in the eyes, eagerly anticipating my reaction.

  "No, no, no!
This can't happen, you can't be in love with me, how can you possibly be in love with someone like me? I'm evil, I hurt everyone around me, can't you see that?” I babble.

  I can feel myself getting agitated and the craving for a fix is so strong, my hands start to tremble.

  "Why are you saying these things, Brody?"

  She sobs softly, and I know I'm being a prick, but she has to understand.

  "Because it's fucking true!” I roar as she sobs harder.

  Watching her break down is killing me, but I can't bring myself to hold her like I know I should. I don't want to give her false hope.

  "I'm not asking for forever, Brody, I'm not asking for a marriage proposal, I just want us, here in the moment, right now. I love you; I love you with every fibre of my fucking being, you make me whole, you complete me."

  Hearing her repeat those words, almost shatters my resolve.

  "Just go, please, just fucking go, Raleigh. I'm begging you, please, just walk away, for your own sake."

  My voice trembles and as I say those words, she lets out a strangled sob.

  "Brody, don't do this, please."

  She moves closer to me and smashes her lips against mine, taking me by surprise. I know I should be stopping her, but I can't bring myself to do it. She feels too fucking good, and she smells delicious. She smells of Yves Saint Laurent Black Opium and my senses are overwhelmed by the feel of her hands roaming across my biceps and my torso. Fucking hell.

  "Brody," she says breathlessly as she continues to assault my mouth with hers.

  She introduces her tongue and I'm a total fucking goner. I lift her up and she wraps her legs around my waist. My dick is so fucking hard, I could hammer nails with it. I pin her against the wall, holding her up effortlessly, with one arm, as I try desperately to free my cock from the confines of my jeans. I quickly unzip, as she reaches in and grips my dick.

  "Oh, fuck," I moan as she starts to jack me off.

  It's lucky she's wearing just her underwear after our earlier sex marathon, as I awkwardly shift her thong to the side, giving me full access to her dripping wet slit. As my finger makes contact with her pussy, she pants.

  "Jesus, fuck, that feels so good," she whispers as I continue to rub her pussy in slow lazy circles. "Look how good we are together, Brody, can't you feel it?"

  As she says those words, I strengthen my resolve and set her down on her feet, putting some distance between us and zip up my jeans. I shake my head, trying to maintain some composure.

  "No, Raleigh, we're not good for each other, I'll break you if you let me, and I won't do that to you. You're too pure for that, I'll extinguish that light that burns so bright inside of you, and I can't do that. You mean too fucking much to me, kitten," I calmly try to explain.

  She has to understand. She sobs harder as she begins to hit me.

  "YOU'RE A SELFISH, FUCKING BASTARD, YOU MADE ME FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?" she screams, punching me harder in the chest. She hits me in the face and my jaw. I just stand there, taking every last beating she reigns upon me. "I HATE YOU! I FUCKING HATE YOU, BRODY HART! I WISH I'D NEVER FUCKING MET YOU!"

  I deserve every blow and every hateful word that leaves her pretty mouth.

  "What the fuck is going on?"

  Sam's low timbre fills my ears, and he looks from me to Raleigh, taking in the situation unfolding in front of him. She stops hitting me and she just breaks down hysterically in a heap at my feet.

  “You’re breaking my fucking heart,” she sobs, and I’m frozen to the spot.

  I can’t do anything other than just stand there and watch, as if I’m looking from the outside in. Her sobs pierce the hole in my chest and if I had a heart, mine would be breaking right about now too. Sam gets down on his haunches and he places his large, tattooed hand comfortingly on her shoulder.

  "Raleigh, sweetheart, let me take you home, yeah?" he rasps softly, and she nods.

  He lifts her up and something that feels like jealousy suddenly tears through me. Fuck, I need to get high that I get so far away from the shit in my head. It’s that thought that makes my brain cooperate with my feet and I turn around and walk away.

  18

  Raleigh

  After our earlier shouting match when I awkwardly blurted out that I loved him. Well fucking played, Storm. I am on the way to my apartment, in Kensington, in the passenger seat of Sam Newbolt’s black Ford F-450 Super Duty truck. He sits casually in the driver’s seat, wearing a distressed grey Lightning Bolts t-shirt, stretched over his large, muscular body, and black jeans, with a pair of dark mirrored Ray Ban aviators covering his eyes. His raven black hair is styled into his usual messy spikes. He doesn’t look at me directly, but I can feel his eyes on me. Jesus Christ, he’s intense and so fucking intimidating.

  “So, are you going to tell me what happened then, sweetheart?” he rasps, breaking the awkward silence between us.

  “I told him I loved him, and he went fucking nuclear on me, that’s what happened,” I say matter-of-factly.

  Sam takes off his sunglasses, perching them on top of his head, as we stop at a red light. He looks fleetingly at me and I can see why women go crazy over him. Fuck, everything about him screams power and authority.

  "What you should know about Brody, is that he doesn't think he deserves to be happy. He's been punishing himself for years, because of his mum, he's never really gotten over that. He doesn't open up because he doesn't want you to have that in your head. He thinks it's his own problem to shoulder, he doesn't mean to push you away, it is just the way he is. He’s complicated, just give him some time to come around, he just needs to adjust, that’s all. Don’t give up on him, Raleigh, you could be good for each other. I’m telling you this because I like you and he won’t,” he states pragmatically, leaning my head back on the cars’ headrest and sigh audibly.

  "I don't know what to do, Sam. The director of my new film called me earlier. He told me in no uncertain terms, that my relationship with Brody would jeopardise my role. He said he's bad news."

  Sam nods and cocks his pierced eyebrow.

  "Damien Valentine, wow, we've hung out a handful of times and he’s directed a couple of our music videos. The guys a legend and he’s talented, he’s amazing at what he does, don’t get me wrong. But Brody’s got a thing for married women, he slept with Damien's ex-wife, Kayla, so there's animosity, obviously."

  Sam smirks and I can't help but smile too. Why am I not surprised? I want to take advantage of Sam’s talkative mood and the sadistic part of me is desperate to know how many women there’s been before me. But the needy part of me wins out and lays that question to rest for another day.

  "That explains the warning then," I muse softly as Sam swiftly changes gear and glances in the interior mirror.

  Cursing softly under his breath, he slams his hand angrily on the steering wheel.

  "Fucks sake! Think we've got paps following us, sweetheart.”

  He sighs audibly and pushes a button on his steering wheel.

  "Benedict?"

  Sam smiles, as the low timbre fills the confined space.

  "Cole, it's me, you're on speaker, I’m driving. I've got Raleigh in the car with me, and we've got a slight situation."

  Coles deep rumbling laugh comes through the cars sound system.

  "Of course you have, you really can't go anywhere without causing trouble, can you, Newbolt?"

  Sam laughs, tapping idly on the steering wheel.

  "I’ve said on numerous occasions, I like to keep you on your toes, mate! Look, we've got paps in pursuit, there's two of them.”

  Sam glances calmly in the interior mirror again.

  “I need more than that, Newbolt, give us a clue! And why the fuck didn’t you take security with you? That’s what I employ them and pay them substantially for,” Cole says wryly, and Sam rolls his eyes.

  I chuckle softly. “Yeah, yeah, spare me the lecture, man. I’ve got one on a motorcycle to my right and one directly beh
ind, in a Toyota Prius."